Ukraine’s foreign legion

Alright gents, who’s going?

If they want old men, sure I will go. The battlefield will need porta potties and the battle will need scheduled bathroom breaks. Oh, and I need coffee in the morning. Also I need a good night sleep before I go to war.

Also for breakfast before the battle I would like to order scrambled eggs. Those tend to stick to your ribs, which I think is important in a global military conflict.

But hell yeah I want to shoot a few Russians especially that Judo fool who started all of this.

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Only if they unretire me and decide to declare and execute a total war with a nuclear armed nation.

What are the odds of all that happening?

Practically zilch.

Application (direct from Ukrainian Embassy)

don’t have a passport nor the money to pay the bills while I’m gone, and don’t think anyone’s going to pay for me

Alright fellas I got my red eye flight to Ukraine, who’s joining me, let’s go kill some ruskies.

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How do I get my molotov cocktails through security?

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‘I Just Can’t Stand By’: American Veterans Join the Fight in Ukraine (